Health is The Ultimate Goal: My Fitness Journey

Growing up in rural Montana in a household that was far from the American "average" (9 siblings, homeschooled, religiously conservative, fear of government and western medicine), my knowledge of what "health" meant was very limited. My early knowledge of healthy foods and lifestyle came from what I observed my parents and family members doing and discussing. Yo-yo diets with extreme restrictions, labeling many food as being "bad" and "poison" (especially sugar and other carbs), constant cardio exercises with minimal strength building, all in the pursuit of being skinny. The overall sentiment was skinny equals healthy and if you're over a size 4-6 then you're unhealthy. If you have a baby then you need to work to get back to your pre baby body. If you don't portion control everything then you will spiral out of control and gain weight (which would just be the worst thing possible). There was also a huge emphasis on doing everything "holistic" and "naturally". If there was a health issue is would first be treated with herbs and supplements and, unless it was life threatening, any western medicine doctors would be the resort.

In middle school and high school I played basketball and soccer. While I was very active, I would not say I was necessarily "fit" or healthy. I was skinny because I was a kid who was still developing and didn't eat enough to build much strength as all. This was seen as ideal from family members who saw me being thin as the same thing as being healthy. In my early teens I sustained several injuries and had to pause playing sports in order to recover. At the end of high school I had aspirations to join the military and began to do more workouts with my military recruiter group to get in shape for boot camp. Unfortunately, an old rib injury flared up and I developed costochondritis(an inflammation of the cartilage that connects the ribs to the sternum). Due to the heavy emphasis on avoiding western medicine the diagnosis and treatment were very delayed and inevitably forced me to give up on that dream.

When I was 20 I had my son and about 6 months later I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and Hashimoto's Disease. I dove head first into researching the holistic and natural ways to help this autoimmune disease. I bounced back and forth between trying to monitor everything I ate so I could lose weight, and becoming so overwhelmed that is would cause my Hashimoto's to flare up and my thyroid would get worse so I was forced to rest. I would then not rest enough and think if I just tried harder and followed all of the autoimmune protocol rules and lost weight then I would be okay. I went to the gym and did cardio as much as possible, did random workouts I found online or that my friend was doing. Then I would crash again because my body was so stressed out, and I would be 5 steps behind where I started. The stressful relationship I was in at the time which constantly pressured me to return to my pre-baby body was also not very helpful either!

A little less than 2 years later, I met my now husband and my beliefs around fitness and food began to change. I had started to do some strength training with a friend and my now husband started to help me expand my fitness knowledge. I started training in a more powerlifting style with him and absolutely loved it. While I was still concerned about the number on the scale, the strength I was beginning to build was so eye opening to me. I couldn't even bench the bar when I started lifting but with his encouragement and training I was able to build the strength to even add 10-15lbs onto the bar. As my strength grew, my confidence in my body started to slowly grow as well.

In 2018 I decided to begin training for a powerlifting competition. Unfortunately in the fall of that year my unaddressed pelvic floor weakness paired with my hypermobility led to a labral tear in my right hip. When the incident first happened I assumed that is was a ovarian cyst bursting but when the pain continued to come back and halted my gym workouts, I saw a pelvic pain specialist. I went through pelvic floor physical therapy which helped tremendously. There was so much great information I learned and strengthening my pelvic floor helped my gym workouts and daily life so much. However, I was still in pain and didn't know why. I was then referred to an Orthopedic doctor and the labral tear in my hip was found. In the fall of 2020 I went through the surgery to repair it and after many months of recovery I was ready to get back into powerlifting again, or so I thought.

In 2021 I kept trying to get back into my gym routine but was having trouble building strength and the recovery from hip surgery was much more complicated than I had anticipated. I had always had a weak core and was still learning how to navigate building strength, with hypermobility making it difficult to know what was a range of motion that actually worked for my joints and not just my extra stretchy ligaments. I continued to research and slowly started to make progress. In 2022 my love for the fitness industry had grown and I wanted to help others get more out of their fitness. That year I studied and became a Certified Personal Trainer and started working at StretchLab as a Flexologist (stretch coach) completing their Applied Stretching Theory and Practice certificate. I loved this extra knowledge I gained but I still felt like there was something missing in my personal fitness journey.

I had dabbled a bit in mat pilates videos over the years and in 2023 I started taking Pilates classes at Club Pilates. I fell in love with the exercise modality and continued to try other studios. Pilates helped me tremendously, both with rehabbing my hip that had not yet returned to "normal" and in building my core strength (and understanding what my core actually is!). Pilates got my body feeling good again and helped to ease a lot of that tension that I had built up from my hypermobility and injuries over the years.

After looking into many Pilates certification programs (and taking a Pilates mat course that was not very helpful at all), I began the first part of my Pilates training through NEU Pilates. This course was invaluable and I loved the approach of learning from both a Pilates Master Trainer and Physiotherapist. The online format fit perfectly with my schedule as I was still working 40-50 hours a week in management. Through NEU Pilates I became certified in mat, reformer, springboard, and chair in August of 2024. I began teaching group classes at Club Pilates and later that year began teaching small group and private sessions through a boutique studio. I've continued my education through Club Pilates for my trapeze table and barrels certifications to complete my comprehensive training. I've learned more and more as I work with clients in person and from my fellow Pilates instructors who have taken time to give me tips and mentor me. I am now continuing to expand my knowledge and working on my Pregnancy and Postpartum Corrective Exercise Specialist certification through Core Exercise Solutions.

My fitness journey has had so many ups and down. It continues to change as I try different fitness modalities and find the fun in fitness. That has been the biggest change of all, finding the enjoyment of food and exercise that I enjoy. Finding this has given me a deeper understanding and appreciation of my body which has helped to heal much of the wounds of what I was taught growing up that had damaged my overall health. Health is the ultimate goal; not an ideal weight or look, but a feeling of vitality that comes with sleeping better, eating better, and have more energy to enjoy my life. I can't wait to see how my health continues to improve the more I learn and grow.

-Emily Pappas